-æï¿½‘æï¿½ï¿½Angel~~ Angelæï¿½ï¿½æï¿½‘~~~-

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.: Thought of the :.
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"Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.
~Henry Van Dyke"

Fei fei* designs

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Hmmmm...too much expectations is no good.....fell asleep grumpy the previous night only to have Ed wake me up early saying that he wanna bring me for Mac breakfast before service.....coollll....gotta eat my favourite sausage mcmuffin with egg meal......errrm ended up real late for first service though. But really appreciate his efforts.....and sweetness......

Started the first lesson of our marriage preparatory course......went in not knowing what's gonna happen....we both had a shock when we realised that we dun just have 2 but 4 counsellors!!!! And there's only the two of us!!! hahaha It was a rather enlightening session.......We both had to define our notions of what is a marriage......and we were made to address issues like what does it mean by women being helpers of men.....what are our core values...expectations.....what being united as one means and what it means by one flesh......though this isn't the first time we go thru' biblical passages on these issues......the once pure readings are now real in my life. Indeed when two very different people with opposing characteristics come together as one......it takes great pains and constant efforts to build the relationship. At this point of time ...the differences between us seems even greater as we discuss our plans and make plans.........

Had a great time lunching with some of my cell mates this afternoon.....Edwin's bd today....so a few of us...Daniel and family.....Ed...Ee Leen....Sue....Zin....Shelia...Chris and a new guy errr can't remember his name oops....helped Edwin celebrate his bd at Swensons before gorging ourselves with cakes at Secret Recipes.....Whoooo the banana chocolate cake......chilled strawberry cheese....admidst others....so yummy and so sinful........haha we were joking about naming our cell...bond by eating.....and Daniel came up with eat ur way to heaven......ya he's my cell leader haha imagine that LOL

Had a good chat with Ivy...Sue...Zin n Ee Leen while the guys sat at their guys' corner....talked about wedding decor and gift ideas......real thankful that they are so helpful and supportive......haha I'll be so lost and slow without their help and ideas and haha their ever excitable spirit..... =P

Finally collected my Convo gown and motar!!!! Waited super long for this ....finally 25th Sept!!!! Whoohoo!!!21 Gown's black...colours...purple and maroon....think it's kinda tacky..the colours but mum says that it's nice...whatever...as long as I can graduate and wear my precious motar......kiss my degree and take a family protrait...I'm fine with any colours!!! *wide grin* Guess I'll be getting my grad photos with my wedding pics....most pro Ed's auntie gonna bring it back for us....guess after a while I'm quite fine with getting the pics at a later date...after all haha it's the suspense of how I look like in the final product that makes me real excited.

Ed drove me pass Orchard so that I could take a look at the much praised pretty flowers...before we went for an impromptu dinner with my family......yet again ...I stuffed myself with food......they ordered quite a lot cos they wanted to try the food at this zhu chao in this new coffee shop at bedok North......boy am I bloated........HOW TO SLIM DOWN??? BOO HOO.....

Sotong Gal
11:21 PM

Had a tiring week.....work, tuitions and all.......mentally...physically and now emotionally drained. Work was rather okay....and really thank God that the hods were very gracious....allowed me more time to clear my class files and all.....phew!! Load off my mind ...doesn't mean that i can lax though...exams round the corner....compo exam on the 10 oct and had two more compos to do...that means 4 sets to mark!!!! Hmm.....markings juz keep piling but guess that's the life of a teacher......*grinz*....enjoyed my tuitions with my kids too....not a big chore...but guess cos having a bitch of menses cramps plus it being the start of a new term....am kinda exhausted now.....need a rest.....so that I can do more.......after term four...life would be sooooooooo good!!!

Was refreshed during cell......had a good chat with some of the gals...and learnt more about the gifts of the Holy Spirit......feel kinda refreshed after sharing and praying with my felllow cellmates. had a nice drink with Edwin and Ee Leen as well....time well-spent!

Was looking forward to a restful weekend....BUT wasted money on a stupid facial. Paid close to a hundred bucks for treatment...it was sleepy in a way but the "massage" gave me a massive headache! Didn't even help me squeeze out my blackheads loh!! Squeezed a few only ask me go buy cleansing milk so that nxt time can squeeze more.....koaz.....what kind of facial is this?? Didn't wanna trim my eyebows too initially...guess I gave a disgruntled look and she offered to do it later...but not a thorough job.......to conclude ...it was LOUSY. No way am I going back there.

To make things worse....didn't really have as good a time as I hoped to have after a week of hard work......somehow at times it seems that it's easier to have fun and ideas of where to go or what to do with more ppl ard.......it's not that i only think of negative stuff...I appreciate the positive stuff but at times I'm just so tired of things that just seem to keep repeating themselves......many times what is meant to be special somehow or other will end up being not so special......dun care to elaborate......am just so emotionally spent that I feel like just pausing and think real hard......

Sotong Gal
12:46 AM

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Aren't in a best frame of mind.......feeling sick...and constipated.....think menses coming haha ....pretty long day today... had two meetings. Somehow guess I'm somehow adapting better to the afternoon session......dun find it as hot and bothering anymore. Finally completed fractions!!!! Kids will be doing fraction test this coming mon......must quickly start on the next topic...hopefully my kids will be better at reading time.....keeping fingers crossed. English and Science are also behind time...but think once I clear fractions...should be ok...provided that I dun have to do more paperwork??????

Kids were rather well-behaved today...real attentive ...am real proud of them when majority got their fraction problems correct. They got real excited when being asked to think of some suggestions on what kind of food they can sell on Community day cum Food and Fun fair. Guess will have a jolly good time discussing budget and strategies on how to go about meeting our $600 target tomorrow.

Spent some time making cards too...reason being that their former teacher is retiring tml.......some of the cards are really sweet and nice....well it's their sincere work after all.... =)
Pri 3 Kindness was real angelic today...so unlike the initial hellions they were. Realised that they flourish under loads of kind encouragements and gentle tones. They actually waited super quietly for me to arrive and very very polite and responsive. haha one think I really thank God...for once they did not dash to the sink all at once to wash their fruits and they actually did not mess up their tables and even completed their given task......and as usual 1 PE was a joy to go into......whoooo happy happy day. It would have been better if other teachers didn't complain yet again about the same naughty boys in my form class....... life's good!

Sotong Gal
11:05 PM

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Tiring day.......had a long day today. In fact have been having exceptionally long days since I start afternoon session......still trying to fathom why some teachers like afternoon session so much haha .......anyway...I started my day yelling at kids....yes even before assembly. Have 5 to 6 constant "fans" who must meet me before school starts.....not by choice......they had already first made their choice by perpertually not handing in work. As expected...these same boys are my laziest...naughtiest and most talkative......at least some of them fulfilled all of the above. For once my chapel periods aren't about having fun and praising God...rather....I always end up "screaming" gently at ever talkative kids.......so it's kinda expected that they will be talkative in class too.....

Well before people starts to think I'm starting to whine AGAIN....... today's a pretty good day. Most of my kids who had forgotten their work...handed them in......and they were pretty well-behaved and rather attentive so much so that my naughty boys volunteered to stay during recess to clear their work while eating sandwiches! ........Why so??? haha cos they are hoping very hard that I would finally allow them to have PE again. Can't help but be amused by their antics. No no I am not torturing them by denying them fun.....hmmmm let's juz say that they had been preferring to talk more than going out to run???

Good weather. Thank God. Kids had fun playing Captain's Ball......despite their constant complaints about their fellow friends.....talk about not being tattletales. I have 38 of them. My Pri Ones were rather chatty...but in a good way. Always enjoy going into 1 patience and 1 peace.....real sweet and very "pinchable" children...... +0

Hmmm work wise..... markings piling up.....mainly cos I have gotta mark many back dated work....some as early as Feb. Expected to submit Sc and Maths files......so with all the unmarked previous works and current ones to clear.....kinda going bonkers. Kids always have the habit of remembering their overdue work after a few months???? When put together...no one can see my face behind the piles of Ws and Wbs.......but well... will juz try my best to clear them. Hopefully can rush syllabus in time.....need to constantly remind myself to not drag topics too long as if habitual of me. Can't help repeating whenever I see some lost faces......MUST MUST move on.........else I'll be so deadmeat by end Oct haha Need extra strength......and rest. 2nd day and am tired. Guess it happen to all teachers. But not complaining...I chose this myself.......and I am real thankful cos I have got a great class of lovable kids.....am falling in love with them more each day.... ya even the naughty ones. Each of them are special ...so am trying my damnest to remind myself that God loves them ......especially when all I wanna do is to scream at some of them at times haha

Sotong Gal
11:03 PM

Monday, September 11, 2006

First day of term four.....and it is chaotic already!!! Arghhhh.....table's filled with tons of books and worksheets.....survey forms.....and even more exercise books........it's not the end. It's the beginning. Am I tired. As expected...kids are super chatty...well not all...the good ones are as usal very very wonderfully attentive. It's sad but true...the naughty and loud ones always are the most prominent in class...the reason being...you just can't ignore them. Whilst the good quiet ones...fade into the background...silently... i wonder at times what go on in their minds....could they be wondering...did Miss Tan even notice that i'm in class today??? I definitely notice them...juz that with the boisterious around needing constant "attention"....it's becoming extremely hard to praise the obedient ones...and at the same time try to complete syllabus......

My day...... 10.30am dancing class......last lesson of modular cca.......thank goodness...keeping fingers cross......hopefully no more ccas for term four.
Spent whole afternoon "reminding" forgetful kids to be less chatty.....being a "tax collector" chasing after holiday assignments......basically it's punishment day......
To make things worse...one of my Pri 3 boy urinated in class last period!!!! How much worse can things be?????

Highlight of the day!!!! Ed brought me to Amoy street...D'sire bridal... hiak hiak...got a free set of wedding tea cups and saucers.....heart shaped and butterflies decor. Coollllll....happy happy happy. Contemplating about a tea dress that i kinda like...will look ard somemore haha

Had nice nice fried fish soup with Ben and Ed at China Square after that and then went Circuit Road for dessert....nice end to an otherwise patience testing day....... =))

Sotong Gal
11:39 PM

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Ta da!! The long awaited entry....... haha

Been 2 months since I last update??? It has been a real eventful 2 months.
Started my contract teaching at my alma mater on the 24th July. Had mixed feelings.....excited about going back to school...long awaited dream...to go back to my very own primary school...to be colleagues with my very own teachers......yet at the same time was apprehensive. What would it be like??? Wouldn't it be real funny??? Haha guess all my worries were undue......my teachers knew that I was posted there......felt real welcomed and took great pride in going back....can't explain the joy within when they put their arms round me and introduced me to others that I was their student.......nice nice feeling to be back. First one month plus or so was rather tiring .....yet relaxing. Tiring cos had to go to different classes everyday....face different children....tackle different temprements...ambiguious timetabling.....but relaxing in a way as I was not assigned any fix class....no responsiblities ...early home going......and most importantly nice colleagues!!!! Have a great "neighbour"...another contract teacher, Luo Qian...from China..teaches Chinese. Have great fun with her ard...always haha.....

And of course!!! Had a great Teachers' Day. Lots of pressies!!!! Spent the day making payment for my flat at HDB....then lunching with Ed at Jack's Place before heading to a Chinese teacher's house for KTV session...ahem oldies mostly.....dinner was at Changi Village Hotel...ended the day drinking at the Civil Service Club at Changi........ of course I drank mango juice duh! The others drank haha

Now that I finally got a form class.....am beginning to feel the stress...being form teacher and having to be assessed for performance sure is some great responsibility!! My Primary Three class is quite sweet though. Talkative.....ever forgetful......gets on my nerves at regular intervals but very endearing. Took me some time to get to know them well and to thumb them down.....though they can be a real handful at times....they are all rather sweet and ever...VERY helpful kids who clamour to help me carry books....so enthusiastic are they ...that they claimed that I am skinny and needed help *grinz* Boy dun I juz adore them!

Hmmm...as for wedding preparations.....

Took wedding pics
Decided on the wedding date
Bought my wedding gown from Allure Charix
Booked my make-up artist
Made booking for the church sanctuary...
Decided on caterer
Approached some people whom we need help from......pastor....singer..camera man etc...
Have more or less booked my "Jie Meis" and bridesmaid
Ed more or less got his "Xiong dis" and "Ban lang"
Got two perfect flower gals
Found and bought a perfect house.......getting keys end Oct
Made a tentative guest list
Chosen color scheme...lavender and white (Hmm maroon looks nice too???)
Attending marriage preparatory class in Oct

Didn't know that preparing for marriage takes so much effort and it can be real mind boggling and super draining. Came to realise that as the date draws nearer ....expectations change....there seem to be more tensions...more arguments.....apprehensions. Yet at the same time, a lingering feeling of joy....excitement.... a new intimacy?? Guess as we become more open with our thoughts and feelings.....we are more able to talk things out and understand each other more as we walk on towards a life together. The past few months haven't been easy...lots of anger...hurts....expectations...... We had to really sit down each time to cool down and talk things out...soothe anger....comfort and relieve existing hurts......addressing problems......to simply thrash things out.....it hasn't been an easy road....but it is nevertheless a satisfying and enriching one. In a way...we are learning to grow to be more like each other...to be more accepting....more forgiving...more generous....more loving. On my part....am trying to be more independant, more "wifely", more forgiving....be wiser and more sensitive yet not too sensitive.....the list goes on..... It is indeed hard to learn to live as one ...and not remain two seperate beings. The road ahead...is predicted to be even tougher...haha with the house coming...as the date draws even nearer...we are bound to have more conflict and hurt but am praying hard that somehow we'll be able to work things out amicably and grow even closer in the event. After all....I first chose him because I love him so.

Sotong Gal
10:06 PM

Friday, July 07, 2006

Dreams do come true.....

Had come a long way.
Went through many trials,
encountered great heartaches.
Too many nights of tearing,
so much disappointments,
all my confusions,
now put to rest.
Ever so slowly,
the imposing bleakness,
fades into eternal nullity.
Slowly yet surely,
the soft light shines,
bringing with it,
renewed hope,
indescribable joy within.
Many years,
oh been so long,
have waited so long,
for endless windings,
to come to an end.
The time has come.
Has finally come.
Had not travel in vain.
My dreams fulfilled.
The much coveted paper,
the job I so desired,
dreams I had held unto,
for so very long.
Slowly slowly,
no more illusive.
Yet the deepest yearning,
beckons still.
Holding on tight,
I clasp your hand,
walk on I shall,
with you by me.
Leaning on your love,
we'll walk on still.
The deepest desire,
about to be fulfilled.
The donning of the gown,
the saying of I do,
the pledging of our love,
admidst pure bliss.
The end has come.
At least for me.
Yet for us,
it is just the beginning.

Sotong Gal
10:20 AM

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Busy Monday.......

Awwwww man ...went on a shopping spree....luckily Ting went with me...else I'll be oh so clueless as to what to get.....we started at 1pm and only finished shopping at 6 plus.....starting our shopping at City Link before heading for Bugis. Geee......had a hard time finding the perfect pair of heels and couple tees for photo taking.....haha the heels are either too high...too uncomfortable or I just don't like them. Hunting for tees proved to be a great challenge too...no cartoons....no overly youngish tees.....no beach boys wannabe ones ........it was only after hours of hopeless searching when we finally found the perfect tees!! haha two fila men tees....one in blue and one in hot pink with the words...."Fall In Love" on them....absolutely cool!!! Hmmm maybe a Mickey tee might be cuter and of a better fit but well.... *grinz* I found them!!! Found a pretty nice pair of silver heels as well at OG Bugis...after hitting many shoes outlets.....hmmm had another in mind actually....was covered in pretty sequins and all but the silver version's out of stock....well...in a way it's a blessing I guess...managed to get another pair at OG......in shimmering silver....no sequins but costs 30 bucks lesser than the other one that caught my eye. Hmmm.....am contemplating if I should get a pair of white heels as well....???? Maybe I will if it is necessary.....now I just wanna concentrate on what else to get before the shoot... LOlz *Shucks* I sound bimbotic already!!

Ed and I finally had dinner with my Dad and Mum.....a rather good dinner I would say.....we talked over wedding plans ...house that sort of stuff.......am glad that we are finally able to sit down and talk.......well it's only the beginning........guess there's more to come....plans awaiting to be made...that sort of thing......nevertheless......things are looking up!!! +)

Sotong Gal
5:30 PM

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